It’s raining in San Francisco today. Which means people LOSE IT. I’m not sure what it is about San Francisco and rain. But I’ve constructed this handy guide for San Franciscans so they can better survive the rain.
1. Don’t freak out
THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING. It’s just rain. It happens pretty much everywhere. You’ve seen it before. Still freaking out? Pretend you’re just in a giant shower. Better? Um…please put your clothes back on.
2. Don’t drive like an idiot
While rain is largely safe, it does change the roads and driving at your traditional 80 MPH will not benefit you. Slow down a little bit. Because otherwise you’ll have to…
3. Prepare for bad traffic
The rest of the people in San Francisco who haven’t read this guide are still driving like idiots. They’re going to get in crashes and slow you down. Does it normally take an hour to get to work? Plan for two hours.
4. If you have an umbrella, don’t walk on the side of the sidewalk with an awning
That’s for people without umbrellas. Duh.
5. If you have an umbrella, don’t walk in the middle of the damn sidewalk
People. Your umbrella makes you about 4 feet wide. If you walk in the middle of the sidewalk, nobody can get by you.
6. Don’t splash bicylists
C’mon man. We’re already wet. If there’s a big puddle and a bicyclist, go around it or wait for them to pass it. Seriously.
7. Once more, DON’T FREAK OUT
Remember that scene in Jurassic Park where they don’t move so the T-rex can’t see them? Think of it like that. If you don’t freak out, the rain can’t hurt you. Just calm down, and everything will be ok.
Have your own recommendations? Post them in the comments!
Photo courtesy of Mohan Kaimal.
Handling the rain – a guide for San Franciscans
1. Don’t freak out
THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING. It’s just rain. It happens pretty much everywhere. You’ve seen it before. Still freaking out? Pretend you’re just in a giant shower. Better? Um…please put your clothes back on.
2. Don’t drive like an idiot
While rain is largely safe, it does change the roads and driving at your traditional 80 MPH will not benefit you. Slow down a little bit. Because otherwise you’ll have to…
3. Prepare for bad traffic
The rest of the people in San Francisco who haven’t read this guide are still driving like idiots. They’re going to get in crashes and slow you down. Does it normally take an hour to get to work? Plan for two hours.
4. If you have an umbrella, don’t walk on the side of the sidewalk with an awning
That’s for people without umbrellas. Duh.
5. If you have an umbrella, don’t walk in the middle of the damn sidewalk
People. Your umbrella makes you about 4 feet wide. If you walk in the middle of the sidewalk, nobody can get by you.
6. Don’t splash bicylists
C’mon man. We’re already wet. If there’s a big puddle and a bicyclist, go around it or wait for them to pass it. Seriously.
7. Once more, DON’T FREAK OUT
Remember that scene in Jurassic Park where they don’t move so the T-rex can’t see them? Think of it like that. If you don’t freak out, the rain can’t hurt you. Just calm down, and everything will be ok.
Have your own recommendations? Post them in the comments!
Photo courtesy of Mohan Kaimal.